hazards

when you stop talking to someone

someone who you were actually close with

someone who you shared everything

every secrets, every problems and every memories

how that someone actually throw that away

where friendship doesn't mean anything to 'that' someone

when he or she actually get what he/she wants

everything that you shared with that person means nothing

for so long we build a strong friendship

but because of some unworthy guy, that person actually choose him over us

us, the one that actually care about her

the one that actually feel sad when she's sad

the one that actually feel sympathy towards her, when she actually faced a tough problems

but all of that is nothing

we are not important, for her, that guy is everything that she ever wanted

she even willing to sacrifices her friends, her true friends for that bastard

from here, whatever memories we made are nothing for her

sometimes, I want nothing else but at least to be normal again

where we still together, where this normal silly things doesn't interrupt our friendship

even sometimes, I actually hope that someday we actually solve our problem

and talk

4 years of friendship is something to cherish 

it is difficult to get to know someone and being close

but then again, it is impossible to fix whatever has been broken

I just wish and pray to god that she actually realize 

and comeback to her sense

and come back to us.

somatoform

how do you stop or explain to someone 

that they do not have any diseases that they thought they had

well it is hard to do that, since to be a doctor, a 'good communication' is a must have skills

but today, I realized that I can not be a psychiatrist 

you have to talk and talk and talk

I just wanna be a normal doctor or maybe doctor in medicine or surgeon

I find oncology interesting

 so I might consider becoming a pathologist or oncologist

study of cancer, how one cell can become 'bad' and that 'badness' transmitted to other cells

I find it interesting and it is actually a 'cool' field to work 

as you actually find a way to stop cancer from spreading or metastasize

I just dont understand how some people can underestimate another person capabilities

like gurl, you are not the only one who knows your shyt

I mean for me at least

 I've never thought that I am smart or even above some people (in education wise)

some people might have their own specialties in other aspects or fields

and I believe it takes time for people to actually show their talent 

'different people have different time to shine'

so dont be embarrassed if you cant answer any question or you failed certain subjects

I failed so many papers in year 1 of medical school,

but I managed to pass my first year,

and starting from 2nd year I changed the way I study

and my result got even better and better until now (alhamdullilah)

'being smart' doesnt mean anything, it is the way how you study 

and concentration in class is important,

it will get easier for you when you revised later on, during finals or what not

everyone have the same capabilities and capacity

it is just how hard you work to achieve what you want :)

in 2 weeks psychiatry posting going to end

and community medicine going to start

and 2 more posting to go

and finally, MALAYSIA

hopefully I can survive whatever is there waiting for me at malaysia

"you are capable of so much more"

dysthymia

3rd year of mbbs is hard

psychiatry posting is hard

how to ask for open ended type of question?

when I am not even a psychiatrist

I miss medicine posting

where everything is about closed ended type of questions

patient came with a complaint of breathlessness

so the next question to ask is 'do you have any chest pain'

 how simple is that?

oh and I miss surgery posting

where you don't have to ask anything from the patient

the patient him/herself present to you with any type of complaints that is visible to naked eyes

LOL

2 more months and im going back for good

but they say lecturers at Malaysia are super scary

if you are dumb, they will tell it straight to your face

and im not comfortable with that kind of environment

I guess since im in psychiatry posting

I think I have anxiety disorder

or it is just me, LOL

I mean it is normal to feel anxious when presenting some cases right?

and lastly to that psychiatry lecturer who took class just now

maybe you should read which case that should have been presented today

instead of asking student to just take history of patient of unknown disease

I mean some student actually prepared before coming to class
and please come early to class,
so that we dont have to move from one place to another place

no ragrets - we're the millers